You Failed, Movie.

I'm always disappointed with movies that start off promising, either with a unique premise or it being just an awesome movie part of the way in, and then end up falling flat and stale and leaving a foul taste in my mouth. It's as if the writer spent 94% of his or her time only on the concept of the movie, creating a decent plotline and hopefully drawing out some well-developed characters. Then once the big scary duo "climax and resolution" come along, demanding justice of it's preceding amazingness, all that comes out is a big wet fart of an ending. I want to love the movie, add it to my lil list of top notch favorites, sing its praises to friends and family to go go go see it, buy the dvd and bust it out on people when they ask for a recommendation. I basically am begging the movie makers to give the big green light to make me an unpaid advocate/whore of its out-of-sight spectacularness. I'm available and very willing.

But I've been running into a string of these crap movies as of late, with a few listed here.

Atonement - First off, James McAvoy is a little dream man (even as a fawn-animal-human-thing in Chronicles of Narnia he was good times rolling). I will be gracious and faithful in watching all of his cinematic endeavors, and he was able to slightly salvage this movie for me. Atonement really started off so well, and as I hadn't read the book beforehand I was excited to figure out where this plot was going to end up. Then 2/3 of the way in the plot veered into the "huh?" territory and lost me. It felt equal parts rushed, like the production hit an "oh crap" moment of having to wrap it up quickly because it was already 2 hours in and not much progress had been made. Poo, because I would have loved to have supported it.

Bed of Roses - I doubt this a well-known one, since it did come out in 1996 and is part of that romance genre that hardcore sappy chicks enjoy. The trailer was intriguing (in my perfect world, using an Enya song never equals the movie being bad) and the story seemed interesting enough with the elements of New York, beautiful flowers, and a secret, although slightly stalkish, admirer. But the characters were lousy and bland and I felt nothing for either of them the whole time. If you can't even jerk a tear from me of all people, you have seriously failed your craft.

Bounce - Forgetting for a moment that Ben Affleck is in this, the premise sounded pretty cool to a 15 year old girl back in 2000. A guy switches plane tickets with a stranger at the last minute, that plane goes down, he finds the widow and falls in love with her but she doesn't know the whole story. That's romance genre gold, I tell you! But it just fell apart towards the end. Boring, boring, boring, I couldn't stand the pair, and it didn't deliver any "aww" moments. Unforgivable.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Again, never read the books so I went in expecting nothing but a good movie from what I had seen and heard. I get that they crammed a lot of the books into this one film, so I guess I shouldn't hate on it too much. But I think the makers expected anyone who watched it to have already read the series because most of the movie made no sense whatsoever. A minor thumbs up for the original "Jim" (i.e. Tim) on the BBC's The Office playing Arthur Dent.

Love Actually - Of all the movies, this should have scored huge with me. You have London and Colin Firth; those 2 factors alone would more than exceed any of my expectations. But it looks like I might be one of the small group of people that didn't like this movie. In fact, I almost hated the thing. Not one of the multiple story lines lived up to even my mildest hopes, with all 8 stories forced, contrived, phony, and with a not-so-subtle hint of schmaltz thrown in. Who honestly thinks 2 porn actors falling in love is clever and romantic? Come on.

The Wedding Date - Ha, no. This movie blew from beginning to end. I just like to knock it down when the opportunity arises.


I'm sure there are more I haven't mentioned, so feel free to add your own "good movie gone bad" experiences.


And a song from an excellent movie through and through - August Rush.
Mark Mancina - Main Title