Inspire Me!

Last week I made the tough decision to retire my lovely undergrad theme song "Eyes On The Prize" by The Emmaus Group Singers. While I have much affection for the song and its powers over me, (it pulled me through some rough Neurological Disorders tests, you don't even know) I thought it would be good to start fresh and select a new song. I want something that will again inspire and motivate me as this whole grad school thing unfolds over the next two and half years. Right now I have two top songs that are duking it out for the coveted slot. Let me know what you think.

Rod Stewart - "Never Give Up On A Dream" Straightforward song, lyrics are perfect if not cheesy, and it's Rod Stewart. When does this dude's music get used for anything ("Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" doesn't count), so I thought I would throw him a bone.


or

The IMPACT Repertory Theatre - "Raise It Up" (From the movie August Rush). The lyrics aren't perfectly fitting my purposes like "Eyes on the Prize" did, but it's an oomph song. And it continues my blatant stealing of impoverished civil rights songs featured in movies for my own educational purposes.


I am open to suggestions. If it has a Black choir it will receive bonus points.


And for old-time's sake.
"Eyes On The Prize"

I'm In.

HOLY MOTHER, I did it. I was accepted to the graduate program at my university. After months and months of inner turmoil, of nagging and whining to friends and family about how stupidly hard the process was, of figuring out what I would do in terms of career if I wasn't accepted (Physical Therapist or Special Education Teacher), and of just trying to get along and become friends with the knot that developed in my stomach so many moons ago, I somehow muscled my way in to the program. Don't ask me how, because I was pretty confident that I would be borderline or wait list material. Not because I suck hard or anything like that, my skills and the "completeness" of my overall package are actually pretty stellar, if I do say so. It's just that this major is 99.9% female, and that means the manicured claws are always sharpened and ready to slice. But I guess I brought the right kind of shiv to this fight.

The past few weeks since turning in the whole application packet, the news began to trickle down, i.e. I listened in on people's conversations in class. Hey, at least I try to be inconspicuous. I leave my earbuds in and pretend to listen to my ipod while I have my nose in a book cracked open. Word to the wise, don't trust people who do that. They are totally listening in on your conversations. Anyway, the information that I would hear being chattered would be which stage of the process the committee was on, how many actual spots there were available for Spring (12. I wept just a little after hearing that), and that the calls would be going out during the week before finals. My good friend Knot grew and tightened with that latter information.

When I came home from class Tuesday night, I assembled a night time snack of tangerines and some cashews and set it down in anticipation for watching some of the terrible and cheesy Christmas made-for-TV movies I've been DVR'ing. I went upstairs to change and saw that my phone's message light was flashing. My heart ricocheted for a few seconds as I played the message, and when the voice of a certain head of the department came out of the speakers I let out a muffled scream and started hopping around my room before fumbling and spazzing for a pen and paper to write down the phone numbers he was giving me. Calls immediately went out to family and friends as I shrieked to them and then proceeded to dance around to my pre-made "Grad School, Onward!" playlist. Now I have a strut and a smirk permanently attached, just as it should be.

The biggest burden feels like it's finally been lifted and now it's all on me to do well rather than having to worry about what your fellow student is up to and being secretly glad that they didn't do so hot on a test. One of the chosen, and it feels so good.


The Emmaus Group Singers - "Eyes on the Prize"


This song has helped me get through the past three semesters (Fun Fact: It was on my 2006 Best Of Mix too. It lives on). I play it before a test or when my stress level gets too uncomfortable. Sure, it's a Civil Rights song from the movie Green Card that I hijacked for my own purposes, but it's a sanity saver so I will continue to play it as I now officially consider it my musical lucky charm.

GO GO GO

My Graduate School application is due by Thursday. Online application sent in and being processed? Check. CBEST taken and kicked up and down the block for drill? Check. Letter of Intent, the previous bane of my existence now written and officially amazing? Hell yes, Check (Thanks Nicole!). Three letters of recommendation from professors or associates in the field? Che--, well, not so much. I've confirmed with two of the three that they sent in their letters, so huge mop up of the sweaty brow there. The only thing remaining for me to worry about is this third floater. He's known to be unresponsive and slow with getting these things in, but for the ones he does write a letter for, he rocks it. I decided to take the gamble (Honestly, he's the only one I made an effort to get to know, so my options were basically him or him. But he really is super nice and ridiculously smart, he being my option is a good struggle). So I'm currently on Operation: Harass-A-Professor. I am pathetically emailing and leaving voicemail messages on his office phone with the hope that he will get tired of seeing my email address and hearing my trying-to-be-sweet-while-gently-browbeating-him voice on his phone. The pain will end for him and for me once he just prints out that letter, gets up from his chair, walks about 30 feet down the hall and hands it in. Cross fingers!

Beck - "Timebomb"


Update: He emailed today and said it would be sent in on time. Huzzah!

Panic Button A Go

I just submitted my technical Graduate School application. Now on to finishing my Letter of Intent and bugging my professors to get those recommendation letters written. Three weeks left.

Breathe...

Alexi Murdoch - Breathe

College Days - Annoyance Abounds

Today's observations. Joy.

(The Reno 911 clip)

Paul Simon - Me & Julio Down By The Schoolyard

College Days

I'm currently in the last semester of my undergraduate career and I have to say that the past 4 years of college have been... a mixed bag. There definitely have been many positive moments, but what fun is there in talking about that, really? So moving to the other side of that spectrum: I always seem to be alert of all the crazies, goofs and idiots while I'm at school, and I tend to have an adverse reaction to most of them. My mind fills quickly with dagger comments at them and that's my way of defusing the annoyance. Or I just have the most random thoughts come to me that make perfect sense at the time. Then later when trying to figure it out, I frustratingly lose most of my original reasoning and purpose behind those observations. So I wised up today and started bringing a notebook to all of my classes. I love that I can jot down what new thing or event has left me all in a heap or has put a pep in my step. I think some of those thoughts are worth posting, and there are some that aren't as they can get either really dumb or really mean.

So today's notebook page was filled up in a matter of 3 classes. Too much to retype so I'm just scanning it up and you can read it from the source. Excuse grammar and funky sentences as these were all written as quickly as my left hand could muster.

*The notebook I use is seriously one of the coolest notebooks as it came from Ex Libris Anonymous. The one I've used here is the Hop On Pop by Dr. Seuss. I've gotten so many notebooks from there and I have a nice little stash going. If you're nice, I might send you one. :)

Relient K - "Bite My Tongue"

How Do You Open An Email?...

I have a problem. Whenever I get emails from "certain" people, something inside stops me from opening it to read it. I somehow end up thinking that the worst is in that email and the longer I hold out and am ignorant of its content, the better I will be off. Obviously that thinking always equals a big "dumb". But I can't do it. Right now as I type this there's an email from a professor I asked to write me a letter of recommendation. I emailed him a week ago asking for a status update on that letter's progress and was getting nervous over his lack of response. I was even thinking of ways to go to his office, fearful and shaky, and just ask how my very important letter was coming along. Now that he finally responded, I can't force my finger to click it open. I'm stuck staring at it and then closing the page down. Then I bring it back up, knowing I should read it. So painful.

Brett Dennen - Darlin Do Not Fear

Books I Don't Want In My Library

What crime have I committed to deserve this list? Why must I suffer so? Weep. Weep for me as I make the slow and arduous journey into the campus bookstore to buy all of these text books tomorrow.

Spoon - The Book I Write