Power To The Romo People! - Part Duex

Photo courtesy of Raffaella.
Found and contributed by Swoz (shout out!)

Reception 4:30 PM - Nixon Library

We arrived at the Nixon Library around 4:30PM, where we would have to wait in the hall until the reception room was ready for the public. The location had a beautiful garden area outside, but it was disgustingly hot and about 5 people or so foolishly wandered outside in the heat before rushing to get back in. Mind you, this hallway was sort of narrow, as a hallway will tend to be, and having that many guests in that compact a space quickly became unpleasant. I was willing to be patient about getting through cocktail hour (is it even called that if there's no alcohol served?) because I'm a gracious guest like that. I thought that maybe an hour and a half would be standard, but when the time stretched to 5:30 PM.. 6:00 PM... 6:30 PM and we were still standing around waiting to be let in, I could feel the rumblings of a quiet riot rising to the surface. But during that waiting time, we were treated to plastic cups of either water or watered-down lemonade, some hors d'oeuvres went around (dates wrapped in bacon - who knew?), and my dad was dragging me in every direction to reintroduce me to the older folk that used to know me. They all had the same reaction of "wow, it's Andrea!" with bugged out eyes. Yeah, it's me, can I go now? I may be paranoid, but it felt like every time I turned around, my Romo match (let's call him "Steve") was always there in a group of guys. I would look and the group would all turn away and I'm flustered and turning red because I have no idea what's happening. Any attention is good, right? But it was still not pleasant.

Once those doors were opened, it was like a stampede to the tables as there were no seating arrangements. My pre-established table of people got a little greedy as we passed good tables to find something better, but then we hit the section of reserved tables and we were screwed. We looked back and those tables we passed up were quickly filled, so we sulked to a pretty crappy table in the farthest corner of the large hall. As we were getting seated, I took time to assess my fellow table compatriots and noticed how it was all couples and then Jon and I (my sister had some buddies that she was able to get seated with). The table consisted of the newly engaged couple (which of course meant that the girl was all about the feigned yawns so she could show off her new ring to a table that couldn't care less, and she was generally bitchy the whole time to her boyfriend as well. She's a keeper!). There was also the newly married couple of two years, whom are actually such a great twosome. And I'm pretty good friends with the wife, having known her for twelve or so years. So I was very happy as she is a lot of fun to hang with. And the third was the sort of young pair in their early 30s, but who have been married for ten years. It was interesting to observe the interactions of each set as they started to look identical in mannerisms and such. Remember in "Bridget Jones's Diary" the smug marrieds scene? Pretty much dead-on description of my table and really any couples party I stupidly attend. If you're a strange one and have never seen "Bridget Jones's Diary", I was able to find the clip here (Can I say how much I LOVE Colin Firth? Tall, British, and gorgeous. *Sigh*).There was an empty seat available, and for a moment I sweated a little as the dude my parents were trying to set me up with (see previous post: "Just A Love Machine") contemplated taking the seat and even pulled the chair out. But apparently his parents wanted him to sit with his cousin. Since our table didn't have room he pushed the chair back in and wandered to the table right in front of ours, to which I let out a soft sigh. Not ideal, but I'll take any space I can. I turned around to kind of scan the room and saw that "Steve" was sitting at the table right behind me. Yeah, I don't know what the chances are that these two would be right next to me in this very large banquet hall of 400 people, but of course I couldn't expect less.

Since it's a president's library, the room was supposed to replicate the East Room of the White House, but kept in all of it's retro 70s style glory to honor Nixon. When the lady in charge of the event mentioned something about Nixon's legacy, everyone smirked. And keep in mind that 99% of the people there were Republicans and weren't even in this country when he was president. Way to rock all the way to Romania, Nixon. There were a lot of portraits of dead Presidents, huge chandeliers, and gold gold gold everywhere (well, I assume spray paint gold. It wasn't that swank of a joint). The wedding theme colors were midnight blue and gold, which nostalgically reminded me of my elementary to junior high school mascot colors. Go Crusaders! I still wear the P.E. uniforms from those years as pajamas. They're so comfortable!

Once everyone settled in to their respective seats and the chattering began, the brother of the groom stood up to give a toast. He spoke really close to the mic and mumbled through the whole toast. People were quiet for about 30 seconds until they realized that they couldn't make out anything he was saying so the chattering continued. I was puzzled as to why he did not have a glass in his hand to raise. I would have even settled for one of those plastic cups of water, but no. I wasn't even sure it was anything resembling a toast until my friend Lydia leaned over to ask if the toast was over. I told her that I didn't hear any more muffled noise over the speakers, so yeah, it must be.

Quick story on this brother - we had a History of Rock and Roll class a few years ago and we sat next to each other but never talked the whole semester. Well, I found out that he was bragging to his friends (who know me) that he was cheating off of me on the tests. Mind you, these tests were open book, open note. Lydia said that I should have stood up during his toast and yelled "Cheater". I think I would have only looked like a crazy person so I kindly declined her suggestion.

I have to say that I really enjoyed my table. Everyone was entertaining and did their part to contribute to the joviality. Plus we had that empty seat so we always had some fun person stopping by and joining in before moving back to their tables. One thing that we all found to be hilarious was that the music being played over the speakers was the Yanni CD "In the Mirror". What was even better was that most of us at the table loved the guy.

The food staff started serving us the salads and it was.. interesting. It consisted of mixed greens, a sweet vinaigrette dressing, and placed in some kind of edible translucent white bowl that I wasn't even tempted to taste. The next round of food served was a bowl of sarmale, which is a specialty Romanian food that I really despise. I think I'm the only one who doesn't like it, and that's sort of a stigma for me because it's considered a staple food. There even used to be a Romanian group on myspace called Sarmale (that I assume is now defunct because I can't find any trace of it). As this delectable food wasn't part of the catering staff's menu, some poor Romanian women were tasked with having to make them all. And of course there was general grumbling from the ungrateful diners over the missing sour cream. The main course arrived, with the meat resembling an oven roasted piece of beef covered in a horseradish-tasting sauce, and included was a stuffed chicken (mine was cold) and mashed potatoes. This tower made of cheese and cracker was on the plate as well, which I dismantled and played around with before piling the pieces in the corner of my plate.

Now that most of the food was out of the way, it was time for the couple's standard and bland wedding slideshow movie! Our table was in a bad location, so Lydia, Jon and I got up and went to stand in the back of the room to get a better view of the soon-to-play debacle. And wow, was it a train wreck (that was a pun that will make sense in a few sentences..). But first, as Lydia and I started to walk back, "Steve" literally jumped out of his seat to say hi to Lydia, along with how much he missed her and that he would never miss an opportunity to say hi to her. All the while I was standing there like a goon, not knowing if I should continue walking past or say hi and get it over with. I chose option C as I continued to just stand there looking extremely uncomfortable and shifty. What's another moment like that to add in the grand scheme of generally crappy times?

Back to the movie - the first part was of the groom and his life told in pictures. Since he's an F.O.B. (fresh off the boat) a lot of his pictures were from the old country and looked like they were from the 1930s but were of course taken in the 1980s. Those were followed by pictures of the bride, which were all pretty generic and not that interesting. Then a video popped out of nowhere and it took about 2 minutes for me to figure out that it was from when he proposed to her. Cute in theory, but this video wasn't edited so it was a film showing a bunch of kids playing around in hay or something, then him proposing followed by her hugging everything that moved, and then back to more kids playing in hay. Pictures of them as a couple then came on, or was supposed to, because the first five of them were just of her posing in the sun while doing that fake laugh. I let out my own genuine chortled laughter, to which some old biddies at a nearby table turned to stare me down. A video clip of a train also was shown moving through a snowy terrain, and after discussing the events with Nicole a few days later, she explained that it was probably representing the passage of time. "Gay" was my reaction. The music was really the low point of the whole thing. (And before I get into it, I have to confess that I've turned into somewhat of a music snob, and more recently, a wedding slideshow music snob. Not that my taste in music is necessarily superior, it's just that I have a very low tolerance for crappy music. How is it that I get to decide what is and isn't crap? Well, that's your conundrum to figure out.) The groom's section was accompanied by the death scene song "Now We Are Free" from Hans Zimmer's Gladiator soundtrack. Absolutely love the song, but completely inappropriate and over the top for a couple of pictures showing him holding a soccer ball and a security blanket. The bride's music was a Kenny G number. Yes, Kenny G. I don't even want to track that one down in iTunes. Then the couple's pictures were backed by some terrible bland pop song sung by an unknown (and please, for all our sakes, stay that way) Romanian. You should have seen me in the back watching all of this. I was a sad sad girl.

What's a wedding without the bouquet toss? Better question, when was the last wedding when I didn't win the bouquet toss? Yeah, I'm kind of a big deal when it comes to snatching that sailing batch of flowers. I've caught four in my career, and right now I'm on a two-catch streak. (Question: You catch one and you're supposed to be the next bride, but if you catch multiples, do your chances decrease? I'm thinking yes). This event was no different as I used my nine years of basketball knowledge to box out the surrounding competition (getting your ass right up in front of the closest player and mowing them back to get a rebound) and cruise to victory. It was so routine, I remember yawning as I jumped and grabbed it. I think I need a worthy challenger to get me excited to do another one. Now I know how Lance Armstrong feels...

After taking pictures with the bride and the bouquet, this wild and crazy party started to wind down and it was time for the cake cutting. Nothing noteworthy here, except that the base of the cake looked like it was Raiders of the Lost Ark. After being served dessert and with nothing else left to entertain us, we were all ready to blow that pop stand. Lydia and her hubby, Joe, invited all of us over to their house for a little after-party, so were kind of psyched for that. As I waited by the car for my brother and sister to come, probably the creepiest thing took place then. A car with the heavily tinted windows drove by at 2mph, and I'm thinking he didn't think I could see who was driving because his body was fully turned towards me as he passed by. I tried to stare the figure down until he picked up speed and drove off. I totally made out who it was too, and if you want to take a gander at this fool, email me and I'll link you a picture. One word - fugly.

The after-party was filled with margaritas, a newly remodeled home that I very much want to steal from them, and this one guy who amusedly whined about everything from the AC, what people were watching on TV, that the game brought out to play was dull, and whatever else was crawling up his ass. Since it was Sunday night, this rocking party was cut short as the responsible people started leaving because of that pesky career thing they have to wake up early for. So we went home and listened to Chromeo all the way back with the windows down and all of us dancing and bouncing in our seats.

The end.

Darlene Love - "Today I Met The Boy I'm Gonna Marry"
Ray LaMontagne [Feat. Damien Rice] - "To Love Somebody"
Pete Yorn - "Never My Love" (also a top favorite love song of mine)
M. Ward - "Let My Love Open the Door"
Arctic Monkeys - "Baby I'm Yours"