I'm In.

HOLY MOTHER, I did it. I was accepted to the graduate program at my university. After months and months of inner turmoil, of nagging and whining to friends and family about how stupidly hard the process was, of figuring out what I would do in terms of career if I wasn't accepted (Physical Therapist or Special Education Teacher), and of just trying to get along and become friends with the knot that developed in my stomach so many moons ago, I somehow muscled my way in to the program. Don't ask me how, because I was pretty confident that I would be borderline or wait list material. Not because I suck hard or anything like that, my skills and the "completeness" of my overall package are actually pretty stellar, if I do say so. It's just that this major is 99.9% female, and that means the manicured claws are always sharpened and ready to slice. But I guess I brought the right kind of shiv to this fight.

The past few weeks since turning in the whole application packet, the news began to trickle down, i.e. I listened in on people's conversations in class. Hey, at least I try to be inconspicuous. I leave my earbuds in and pretend to listen to my ipod while I have my nose in a book cracked open. Word to the wise, don't trust people who do that. They are totally listening in on your conversations. Anyway, the information that I would hear being chattered would be which stage of the process the committee was on, how many actual spots there were available for Spring (12. I wept just a little after hearing that), and that the calls would be going out during the week before finals. My good friend Knot grew and tightened with that latter information.

When I came home from class Tuesday night, I assembled a night time snack of tangerines and some cashews and set it down in anticipation for watching some of the terrible and cheesy Christmas made-for-TV movies I've been DVR'ing. I went upstairs to change and saw that my phone's message light was flashing. My heart ricocheted for a few seconds as I played the message, and when the voice of a certain head of the department came out of the speakers I let out a muffled scream and started hopping around my room before fumbling and spazzing for a pen and paper to write down the phone numbers he was giving me. Calls immediately went out to family and friends as I shrieked to them and then proceeded to dance around to my pre-made "Grad School, Onward!" playlist. Now I have a strut and a smirk permanently attached, just as it should be.

The biggest burden feels like it's finally been lifted and now it's all on me to do well rather than having to worry about what your fellow student is up to and being secretly glad that they didn't do so hot on a test. One of the chosen, and it feels so good.


The Emmaus Group Singers - "Eyes on the Prize"


This song has helped me get through the past three semesters (Fun Fact: It was on my 2006 Best Of Mix too. It lives on). I play it before a test or when my stress level gets too uncomfortable. Sure, it's a Civil Rights song from the movie Green Card that I hijacked for my own purposes, but it's a sanity saver so I will continue to play it as I now officially consider it my musical lucky charm.